"The herpes talk is a training ground for you to practice what you already know."
Of course it feels like a personal hit if we get rejected. But it's helpful to position your perspective this way: You are calmly and confidently giving this person the information they need to know so they can then make an informed choice. You can show up not in fear, but proud that you're doing the right thing. At that point, it's out of your hands. This mental shift is moving from our fear brain into into our prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain tasked with reason and seeing the big picture. This is the shift that takes us from being a child to being a grown-up. Being an adult is seeing those fears and urges, making sense of them, then acting with maturity and grace. So the disclosure conversation can be important as training in experiential vulnerability: Your fears can come up, but you choose to respond as someone you can be proud of. Success for you is having the talk from a place of confidence and surrender. You're giving them data, and you're surrendering to the outcome. And yes, this takes practice. Practice makes better.
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