When Steph had the herpes talk with her 3 best friends
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It was a very conscious thought process that I went through where. I said people love you you are loved and do you want to be. Well stephanie do you want to be well hi I'm adriel creator of the herpes opportunity. Which is all about positively shifting your mindset disclosing to potential partners in a way that truly connects you. And ultimately finding the love that you want and deserve now you. Can check out the free ebook linked in the description below about having the talk. And now onto the video I hope you enjoy it so hello everyone. I am adriel creator of the herpes opportunity and today. I have stephanie taylor with me and stephanie why I asked you to be on this interview is that that email that you sent me in response to the the vice interview with with my wife. And me and and I wanted to actually to kind of intro this I'd. Like to read a few of those snippets oh okay just just some. Like the the the high level snippets just as a way of of bringing us into the conversation sounds great so you said. I had an aha moment a day or two ago that I too am supposed to be sharing my story about herpes. So that more people can find healing in their heart space their emotional space etc. And that we can change the stigma and then you also said your interview. So the vice interview and your responses brought up so much emotion for me. And your feelings were nearly identical to my own I almost feel. Like crying right now just I'm welling up already I'm like. I wasn't gonna cry crying is absolutely loud and so your feelings. Were nearly identical to my and probably countless others which is what makes you. And your story so relatable so basically after you wrote me that email. I was like I gotta talk to this woman like I already felt. Like kindred spirits just in just how you wrote the email and I.
... Could feel my emotions with your emotions like okay yeah let's talk. So I'm I'm excited to to to have you share with our community kind of your personal story. And kind of what you've come to it sounds like you're still kind of in the middle of a lot of it too. So a lot of people can relate to that as well so. I guess my question to you to kick it off is what. What really had you want to do this interview because it's a lot to get on video. And talk about this stuff so what had you want to do this wow I. Should probably stick to the short story to that answer or for that answer. But you know what I what I believe is that you know. I can continue to advance my own healing so in a selfish way by getting getting this out into the light. And you know continuing to shed the shame and and the icky feelings that I know. I had in the beginning but more importantly. You know I I believe even and I believed it even then. I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself but that I. I got this as an opportunity to you know share my heart. And my story and my love for others who are experiencing the same challenges. And and I know that not everyone who experiences this diagnosis has these emotions. But there are a lot to do and those are the people that I really want to talk to. And I feel like in a way it's talking to all of those folks as if they. Were me back again yes yes you know and that makes me want to cry too. Because I know how broken I felt then so yeah oh yeah that's that's that's exactly. How I always frame it for myself too of like oh I'm talking to a past version of myself. Yeah right and that like oh wow you think all these thoughts. And feel all these feelings and they're all valid and you're gonna be.
... Okay right it's like both yeah yeah so there is light yeah absolutely absolutely. And isn't that kind of the healing journey in and of itself that. Like like you said there's a there's a certain level of it you. Can do just internally and then it kind of overflows into oh. How can I help other people along this path and it does double duty you continue your healing journey by helping others. And others get helped that's exactly right you know and like. I love the movie shrek right you know and and donkey and shrek. Are walking up to save you know the princess and. You know they're talking about ogres have layers right like an onion. And donkey's like like a parfait you know but like or an artichoke. Like I was eating an artichoke the other day and you're peeling back those leaves to get to the heart. And you know I feel like this experience is just continuing to peel back the layers to continue to find more healing. And you know you may think one day that you're it's all good. And then a new experience or interaction will trigger an emotion that you thought you'd already figured out. And so then it's like okay I've got to go back and I've gotta. You know re-talk to myself and re-give myself the love that I deserve. And for myself and that you know and and choose how how to show up here in this in this situation. So I just I think there's just lots of layers to all of this. And and you're right yes it's for myself but to me it's. Like it's time to get out of myself and and help others. Yeah yeah you you make a a good point around. I mean that's how I see it too around around triggers that. So much of the time and don't get me wrong. I don't have this view all the time of triggers of like being a good thing. And an opportunity but when we can kind of have a healthy perspective on all of the things in our lives that do show up that bring up these negative feelings or these sad feelings or these feelings that we'd rather suppress.
... You know that those are always opportunities if we can be present with them. And see them for what they are which is like our own internal child our own pain that's. Like calling out for help and like hey hey mama hey dad. Like can you give me a hug you know and like it's it's those moments that we. Can you know set aside and be like ah I'm busy. I can't get into this right now or it's like the triggers. Are the opportunities to actually like release something and give ourselves that love that we we always want it's that re-parenting. Right that we absolutely yeah well and it's that it's to me an ongoing journey of reversing the old tapes that we might play for ourselves. Yeah the old stories the old thoughts the old it's retraining your mind. And really continuing to move forward into a new mindset yeah yeah. Well that brings me to kind of the the question of it hasn't been that long for you. Right it's it's been two years right since you were diagnosed yeah. Do you mind getting into that story with me like so you got diagnosed. You know what was that like for you to be diagnosed what. Did you think about herpes or people with herpes before you got it any of that. Right yeah so that day that same day I knew well. I felt like my life was over and I would say so. I felt like my life was over I felt like. I was given a death sentence I felt like I would never be able to love or be loved. I would never be able to really get out of it and find a way forward. And I would say that those feelings carried with me for so that was in march of 2019. And then probably through the summer so it was quite a while that it took me to really work through all of that you know. And I think that for me you know some of the thoughts that I had before that only made it worse.
... Because I wasn't in a necessarily healthy place before that either and I think. You know in some ways you know those those prior thoughts you know didn't set me up to be in a good place once. I was diagnosed so it was things like not feeling worthy not having a lot of confidence in myself or self-esteem. And quite frankly if we want to get real deep. You know not really having a healthy relationship with my dad when I. Was little which you know drove behaviors all throughout my life that were not necessarily healthy for me so always looking for love in all the wrong places. Right I just wanted to be loved and I think that that's a theme for a lot of people we're all just wanting to be accepted. And loved and feel like we belong and so when I got that diagnosis. I thought well you know all hope is lost like this is proof of all those things that I've believed about myself already yep self-fulfilling prophecy here it. Is thank you you know I knew it we're making it all come true for me here we. Are we have arrived the eagle has landed yes so and so. I really and and I was dating someone at the time and you know the blessing. And that was that that evening when I told him. You know all of the things to answer the other part of your question I felt dirty. I felt damaged diseased disgusting you know and I used all those words with him. But I knew I had to tell him and he scooped me up. And he's like I don't know anything about it but we'll figure it out together. But which was beautiful right like that was beautiful that could that was. Like the best response I think I could have hoped for. I imagine you were surprised by his response I was. I and I didn't feel worthy and so I just continued to behave. Like an unworthy person and the relationship ended two months later which.
... You know again more self-fulfilling prophecy right we self-sabotage and and so then. I was left completely alone for the rest of that summer until. I you know kind of had my turning point did did you. Have support like close family members or friends anyone that you disclosed to during that period to. Have support in this or yeah yeah so I was also at the end of may that. So I was diagnosed in march and at the end of may. Was when our relationship ended and I was also at the same time going through having a an acl replacement. And so I just remember so I had my little girl posse team of friends. And they are like my core and they were there to to care for me you know while. I was on all the heavy drugs and at one point. I remember sort of waking up on the couch and just being. So grateful for the drugs because I just was in so much pain not my knee not my leg my heart. And and when I was awake enough and all of the girls. Were there I shared with them all three of them and I just felt. So blessed because these women really are kind of my well they're just their blessings to me. Because you know they didn't judge me and they loved me anyway. And the one put me in touch with her very best friend. Who lives in switzerland who has had you know herpes for 20 30 years. And we got a chance to talk and. You know she just said me you're gonna be okay the herpes fairy godmother. Yes yes exactly I want to go back to that I mean it's almost. Like a movie moment that you described of like you're you're you're lying there. You know you just came to you know almost like dorothy and wizard of oz you're surrounded by this throng of women. Who love you and who are you know your your chosen family. And then like how how did you broach that I mean did you.
... Did you just blurt it out or did you like say. I I want to tell you all something and I'm I'm nervous or. Like how did that what did that sound like do you remember. What you said well you were on drugs I was. I was but you know I was brokenhearted about losing that relationship too. Because you know it was a relationship I chose and for most of my life. I didn't choose right they chose me and I settled and that's a whole nother theme. Right but yeah I just you know I woke up and my one friend wanted to give me some food. And I was like I'm just I can't I'm just too sad. Right now and she of course thought it was because I was just in pain. You know from the surgery and so then she called the other two gals. And she's like stephanie needs some love so they all came over. And and yeah and I was just I couldn't stop crying right. So that's why she called everybody and so they came over and they're just sitting there with me. And I just said you know it's more than just this right this. Is what happened to me and I just told them and I just said. I can't get past it and I don't want to be around. You know and I have two teenage kids and I didn't even want to be there for them. Like I couldn't see any purpose anymore I just couldn't and for me at that time. Which is so stupid but it's not because it just was my reality at the time. But it was like love to me meant having a relationship with a man. You know and having that partnership and I couldn't see that love. Was in that room and with my kids and. You know I was defining myself in in a way that was not true it. Was a lie it is a kind of love but it wasn't the fullness of love. And anyway so yeah I just I told them and they just.
... Like the one friend I mean I literally felt like she was my mom in that moment. Like I had my head in her lap and she's hitting my hair oh I'm just tired. And you're like you're beautiful and we love you and we we're here for you you. And they also said we'll kick your ass if you do anything to yourself that's not not kind. So that's like we will kick your ass if you get your own ass. Yeah yeah yeah I was like okay mom moms my three moms. So do let me see if I get this right it sounded it sounded. Like maybe maybe that all of this didn't happen in that moment. And maybe it did like kind of get taken from that moment. But it sounds like in that in that love that you were getting from your sisters there that there. Was there was some realization around how you have the whole idea of. What love is wrong that there was like a like and it. Was an experiential thing as opposed to like oh I. I think I have love wrong it's like oh yeah this is really. Well put this is what it is like it's like a feeling sense first. And then you get to try to make sense of it later. Is that what happened that is a that is absolutely fair and astute. Yeah it was I know again I was still kind of on drugs. So it wasn't like I said until later in the summer and I call it the summer of tears. Because you know I'm still healing I can't walk really well. I can't really do a whole lot so I'm immobile I'm. You know sitting out on my deck in the sunshine trying to get that healing. You know energy from the sun and and and sobbing literally all summer. And I'm you know online watching trying to watch youtube videos about. How to be happy and how to you know and and also. Is when I found you you know and just looking for trying to be a sponge.
... And soak up as much information as I could but still feeling completely broken. And and just miserable and dejected and worthless right and so and hopeless. And there was just one day where there was no stimulus right there. Was no thing necessarily that created this moment this turning point but it. Was a very conscious thought process that I went through where. I said people love you you know this because you saw it back in may. You know your kids love you you know your mom and dad love you you. Are loved and do you want to be well stephanie do you want to be. Well I'm getting chills yeah and I I I have to so. I don't want to go into like the whole god thing but I. I want you to add this because I know not all of your community believes in god maybe some. Are more spiritual or some have a different god right but but also there's a story in the bible. Where jesus is about to go to the cross he knows exactly what's going to happen to him. And he he kneel he's kneeling and praying to god who's. You know his father his father right and he says you can take this take this from me. And that's what I was saying take this away take it you. Can do that you're god you can do anything but he didn't take it from jesus. And he didn't take it from me he didn't take it from any anyone else in this community. Right he didn't he doesn't take it because there's something bigger that we're supposed to. Do and there's an opportunity which I resonated so much with your website just for the name alone. But you know it was I said do you want to get. Well stephanie and the answer was yes and at that moment and the message. I know I want to share is it's a choice yeah it's absolutely a choice. Yeah and I didn't I was tired of all the old feelings.
... You know and I call it stephanie 1.0 and now I'm moving into stephanie 2.0 I'm leveling up but it's time to shed it. Was just it was time and god for me god was using that moment to say you. Have not loved yourself the way I created you you are not living the way you. Were made to be and all of us we are all born to be. You know something that we maybe weren't living into beforehand and now it's time to step up. And live into that purpose and that dream and that vision and. So that was kind of that moment of I am loved and I am loved fully. And wholly and completely and perfectly yeah wow I mean that a lot of people. Can resonate whether it's religiously or not with that like that decision point. And almost that voice coming in where it's like whoa yeah that that's different. And it's like there's a fork in the road and you are a human being with choice. And you get to decide which which one you're going to walk down. Yeah and it's not always an easy choice right like it it'll it'll take there. Are pros and cons to both that you take but that this reminds me. I think this is I've shared this story with you in our pre-call first call of. Like the person who sent me that angry message like this is not an opportunity. Right and like I get it I get it like when you're. When you're in it and it just anyone who's like saying hey this. Is an opportunity it's a it might be a gift in a way it's. Like you kind of want to slap them and be like you don't understand. What I'm going through I'm suffering here yeah but that it's a perspective that you're choosing to inhabit. Right your mindset should yeah mindset should yeah yeah and so in that fork in the road. Where you're like okay I'm going down this new path this this this stephanie 2.0.
... What were you needing to let go of and what were you claiming in that. Like what was what was your choice in that to be more specific. Well yeah so so first just to kind of comment on your fork in the road 100. And it's either like it's the easy road or the harder road it's the fear-based road or the courageous brave road. Yeah right and what I what I mean by fear-based or easy. Is that it's really easier to not deal with it it's really easier easier to just kind of shove it aside ignore it pretend it doesn't exist. And it could be herpes but it could be any undult with emotion experience trauma whatever. Right and continuing really to live in that negative space which doesn't feel good. And then it ends up impacting other people in negative ways and then conversely the other fork. Is obviously the path that you and I both chose which is. No we're gonna face this head-on and it doesn't it's scary but it's. Like no because we know and like oh well I'll just. I my own experience was I see this as an opportunity because I'm not made to feel this way forever. I was not made to sit here sobbing my eyes out day after day after day. I was not made to be an absent parent and mother. I was not made to live a loveless life I was not made to not pursue my dreams. And the only way that I could do all those things is to work on myself. So all so I said earlier all of the emotions and feelings. And tapes and ways in which I talked to myself that were present before. I was diagnosed I mean I needed to heal and to me this. Was the opportunity to do that why I didn't choose to do it beforehand. I don't know but this gave me the the momentum or the motivation to start to to change all of that. Because and again for me I don't want to say that I deserved it.
... Because who does but I it created the risk for me those old tapes created the risk for me I'm not articulating really. Well but I think just it was it was that it was it's time it. Was time I was being called to live into who. I was made to be and and to know again to really embrace fully. Why I am worthy and how I am how deeply. I am loved whether it's my friends my children god or whomever mostly myself. Like I should be loving myself and so the opportunity is loving myself more than anything else. And and again god more than anything else and that if if I never find that relationship that I've always wanted that it's. Okay because I've got me and I can be I can fully live into me. And my wholeness and my authenticity because it was always a performance before it. Was like I was never really me so it's time to really step into that. And I think that's it what what you're speaking to is at the core of all this. Like if I were to have to rename the herpes opportunity into something more broad it's the vulnerability opportunity. Yes it's like am I am I am I going to show myself to the people. I trust and love primarily and of course it's everyone's choice on whether they want to be public about it or not. You know it's I'm I'm I'm clearly like not saying everyone needs to get on videos. And talk about it put a cherry sign everywhere you go but that would certainly change the stigma wouldn't it. But but everyone is kind of at their own stage and some people part part of their healing journey. Is to go public and others it's like well no one but the people. I have sex with you know really need to know right it's everyone's own journey. But that the like the vulnerability opportunity it's like I was just talking to a coaching client yesterday. Who had a very similar experience that you were talking about with your girlfriends she had with her girlfriends.
... And it was like night and day where she was totally blown away by she knew on some level my best friends love me. But they're still going to reject me once they find out about it. Like it wasn't rational yeah it was like none of those thoughts. Are right out of this felt sense of like yeah but and when she told them it. Was like oh my god like she was able to let the love in. And the the I keep saying wanting to say a cuss word. But the mind f of it yes was that by her revealing. Like her brokenness if she were to judge herself she's actually offering up more of herself for her friends to be able to love. And that's what we can tend to forget when it's like I don't know if I want to share this. And granted there might even be like you know some family members maybe your mom isn't the type of person you. Would want to disclose to or your dad or it's a it's a one-off kind of thing. Where I try I trust these people with my vulnerability yeah and from there. So much more healing gets to rush in because we get to see from. Like a third-party perspective oh I am loved and I get to feel it. And let it in and let my heart be nourished by it as opposed to. I don't think I'm going to be loved I'm probably going to be rejected. So just in case I'm going to stay here right safe yep in this on the safe side. Right yeah the easy side yes yeah exactly what a beautiful story for for that other person I've heard hundreds of those stories that is. Like a that is that is if anything that is like the turning point that I want people to get. Who who might still feel like they're in that and again. I want to be really clear that there's no judgment about like hey. You know you're hiding don't hide you know like you should you.
... Should disclose to everyone you know it's like hold on like you. Should disclose to the people you're gonna have sex with but you don't. Like you don't don't feel the urgency that you have to disclose to your best friends or your family or anything. But that there's the that for most people that is the turning point. Where your old beliefs actually have a chance to get shattered because you. Are completely proving those beliefs not only kind of wrong you're totally turning them on their head. And saying oh me sharing the thing that I thought would get me rejected. Is actually getting more connection and love than I probably have ever. Actually really felt absolutely that's that is the mind off it is you're. Right well and again like for me my life was a performance beforehand. So no one ever saw who I really was and I'm not even. Sure I knew who I really was right and so to your point. Like once I started allowing myself to be real and authentic yeah. I ran the risk of being rejected whether it was because of my political beliefs or how. I cooked a piece you know a piece of steak or whatever. And don't talk about how you could say I don't want to get into that kind of art. Yeah I get it I get it yeah and so sorry my daughter my daughter. Was asking me a question you're trying to be so sly about it everyone. Can see you that's awesome yeah big snake so I was running the risk of rejection at every turn. But to me that's the brave and the courageous route and it's the it's it. Was the start of saying well what do I care about like what's really important to me. And who do I really want to allow into my life and surround myself with. And and you know the you you find your tribe really fast. Right when you start to be real right the people who love you. Yes and who are going to be there to support you and nurture you.
... And care for you you know will be there that that comes to me in that you the more that you're sourcing yourself. And and like what's true to you you become kind of like an electromagnet. Yeah yeah the people who are who are like trying to be in your life you attract that much more. Yes and the people who aren't they get repelled and it's and it's not that taking things personally thing. Like I was just rejected when you're when you move into that feeling of. Like oh I'm going to trust that the people in my life. Who are meant to be there are going to be there so much more if I'm really myself. And I and I show up your relationships become so much richer. Yeah like to a beautiful level I never thought possible and like that's life. Like life is all about love and to me and like that's it. Right when you have those rich meaningful deep you're not talking about the weather. Right you're talking about real stuff yeah but to have the kinds of people in your life that you call on the phone. And when you say hey how you doing it doesn't just mean to say I'm. Okay how are you fine yeah the answer actually gets to be meaningful. Like oh you asked me how I am well I've been feeling pretty sad the last few days. And life is going well but right like you actually answer the question as opposed to covering it over. And saying some social niceties it's like oh you're you're family whether you're my chosen family or my true family. Like your family I'm gonna answer the question that you just asked me. Right and it's amazing how rare that is to really answer that question. Like how am I and share with the people you care about. Yeah yeah so good it's not like you go around. You know vomiting your feelings all over everyone no people get to you people earn that space space in your heart.
... And like that's a different shift as well like. You know I just sort of I don't know like. I said earlier like settled or released to anybody who would show me an ounce of affection. But now it's like no show me who your character is too. Yeah and then we can be real with each other and really. Have that rich deep meaningful loving relationship together yeah oh I've gotten. So many chills down my spine during our conversation it's like oh. Is great yeah thank you for just sharing yourself in this real way. And really yeah I'm really touched and moved I as as we start to land this plane as they say. Yeah for the last few minutes like I want to kind of talk about. Because you know we've talked about your past and kind of what. Has got you to this point where you are now you where. Are you at in terms of like wanting to start dating again. And kind of moving toward toward that and what does that look. Like for you what are your feelings around that and thoughts yeah oh that's an interesting one. So I'm 50 and you know this was a real shock to be diagnosed at age 48 and it. And to be real frank I have no idea how. I got it no idea I don't know who I don't know. When I like I just know that it showed up one day. Yeah yeah a blood test or an outbreak yeah well both so you know that the the man. I was with we were intimate and it wasn't like something was wrong. I knew something was wrong and so I went to the doctor. And that's how you know I I got diagnosed and he did not. Have it and I I know though like the things that were going on in my life. Like my son was doing drugs and was getting was failing school my mother. Was in major failing health my job was all upside down. I had torn my acl like there was like a thousand things that were very stressful in my life.
... And I think I've probably had it for years and just didn't know. Which is icky to think about because I just worry about. You know I mean I was married for 15 years like like. Did I give it to him like I have no idea so that's that was just a little bit of background. I guess and so I hop I hid I hid for probably a good year. And again that was a little bit of fear like. I don't I don't know how I'm ever going to do this. Like how am I going to ever talk to somebody about this. How am I I can't even say the word myself and. You know I couldn't even look in the mirror and say you've got to be stepping. You know like it was foul so much in it that that word it carries. So much feeling and emotion yeah yeah and being a product of the 70s. And free love and stuff like that you know and all the stigma. Right that comes with that word is just like ugh so. I I did hide for quite some time but I also so. I took both roads almost at the same time like. I also knew it's not time it's not time to get out there. Like it's time to love me and to have a full relationship with me. So there was that but I did date I I went out with people. And there was a gentleman that I dated for a while and it. Was really kind of a strange story but he had it and the way in. Which we discovered it was he was talking with somebody who said. I had it which like I'd never ever spoken about and I laughed. And I'm like why would they say that like where did they get that information from. And he said you know he didn't even know but they had just said it. And he's like I have it too and we both just started laughing. And it was like a really great way for me to have that very first conversation.
... And and I've disclosed a few times since then but and and every time. I just closed it's been fine but I feel like that that whole decision it. Like comes with like you know two things first it's like when we feel. Like the right time is to have that conversation with somebody because there's a level of trust. And vulnerability on both sides but then it's also like the other part of it. Is you know how we respond if there is that rejection and I feel. Like again going back to me like if I've done the work on myself. And I love myself enough then I know that that rejection just means that they're not. Right for me because you know god forbid something even worse happens to me. I know that person isn't going to be there for me like. What a gift like I'm glad I could find this out sooner rather than later. So to me I'm I'm I'm ready to date now and I believe that the. Right person will show up one day and I'm open to it. And you like letting it happen organically and I get to choose the pace. And it means we get to go slower and we really get to build the intimacy on an emotional level before any anything else happens. Which I feel like in some ways maybe it was the opposite before. Yeah yeah you mentioned rejection this is such a huge topic but. Like one of the big epiphanies I had around rejection is that. Yes no one no one wants to hear I'd rather not continue seeing you of course that's going to hurt. But what's what hurts even more is taking that and then. I reject myself because of that there's two stages that we normally wrap up into one thing of. Like oh I was just rejected but it's a two-stage process and when we. Can just give the other person's no thank you and receive it. And oh okay ouch that's not what I wanted to hear but I.
... I appreciate it and I get it right I honor your decision. But it doesn't get into oh god I knew I knew it. I knew no one is going to love me I knew that I'm broken. I knew right like that's where that boundary is of no this. Is where the self-love begins this is where the rejection ends that's. Right you know right I mean like I said I'm 50.
...
... the dating pool was not huge you know I'm not out clubbing. And you know doing all that like I mean I have to meet people in a completely different way. And there's so many variables now at this age as opposed to being maybe younger. But I don't say it's easy at any age and at the end of the day you're absolutely. Right like I choose me every time I choose me and I choose me whether they choose me or not. Like I choose me and it when when we can get right in in that you know it just makes it all easier. I but I won't lie sit here and lie and say that it doesn't hurt to be rejected. Okay I invested some time in you and you rejected me but. Okay like again mindset shift you are not the one that's for me it's. Okay I want to be with the one that's for me and that's. Where the trust comes in right that's where you say okay even though. I can't tell the future I'm going to I'm going to choose whether it's in a higher power or just trust in general. Like me I'm on this path that I trust is going to work out just beautifully thank you very much. And I mean that is that is such a that's such a profound choice to make. You know well and I believe too like whenever that it is. Right it's gonna be better than anything I ever could have imagined. And I believe that and so you know what if that that if that person rejects me that just means that I haven't yet found that really amazing opportunity. And it's still it's coming and it's a gift that they. You know it's an opportunity that they they took themselves out of my dating pool. Yes yes thank you for not wasting any more of my time thank you. Yeah yeah well awesome what what is it that kind of the last question to wrap this up this. Is this is beautiful I feel like we really made it through.
... You know with the whole not the whole story obviously there's a whole lot more. I know but yeah good a good overview of kind of your journey. And really appreciate you sharing so much of yourself here my question my last question to you. Is like for the person listening who might be still in that space of. Like I don't I don't get it opportunity like what like what. Would be not advice but you know what would you say to them as kind of this this previous version of yourself almost. Yeah yeah I'm trying to think about how to phrase it in a way that. You know we haven't already discussed in a way that's very perfunctory. But quite I guess to be blunt frank everybody's got something everybody's got whether it's a a disease whether it's a belief about themselves that's. You know a lie right that they're not worthy or this or that most people. Have something that holds them back that makes them feel like they're less than that makes them feel. Like they are not enough most people have that drinking problems whatever. Right and it's that piece of them that holds them back from being real. And authentic with others and the way that I like to think about this. And also that was present for me that one day when I knew. I had a choice and how I showed up going forward it's that when. When we realize that we're all just kind of messed up people just living this life. And that we all want to be loved and accepted it levels the playing field. I mean we're all the same at the end of the day broken into the individual. Like yeah we're all just messed up people and again just trying to find that place. Where we can feel loved and accepted for exactly who we are. And when we deny ourselves the opportunity to show up as who we. Are we deny ourselves the gift that is waiting for all of us. And it's just to feel that true love that's out there yeah.
... So quite a journey isn't it it is it is and like again. Would I have chosen to get this no can I take it away. No will there be days where I feel it and I feel sad about it. Yeah but it was an opportunity for me because it showed me that there. Is another way and and it's the end the way is to embrace the fullness of. Who I am and to love and to love perfect beautiful we. I think we just landed the plane I think yeah. I felt like yeah I think awesome well thank you so much again for for your bravery. And your courage for for showing up again here with me and for sharing yourself with with me. And our community thank you for doing what you do yeah it's beautiful. And that was brave just to start doing what you do so thank you for you full circle baby thanks for watching. I hope you really got a lot out of that video and if you. Did please let me know like comment and subscribe and keep an eye out for more videos just. Like this you.
Stephanie first reached out after hearing the Vice interview with me and my wife; and her email was so heartfelt and real, I wanted to hear more from her (and share her story with you!).
Stephanie and I talk about how she felt about first getting diagnosed with herpes 2 years ago, how her 3 best girlfriends reacted when she disclosed (cue the movie moment music), and how she perceives dating and relationship now.
