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Hey so I wanted to share some of the video that we captured from the first herpes opportunity weekend seminar and just so you know the the video is not actually representative of the seminar itself since obviously a lot of the seminar is going to be interactive it's going to be participants talking about their story interacting with one another group interactions oneon-one so this isn't entirely representative of the seminar but it'll give you an idea of the setup to the seminar uh so obviously since I didn't want to be showing videos of the participants for privacy purposes and confidentiality purposes what I can show you is the parts where I'm talking so to set up the whole weekend and give you some ideas of some of the stuff that we were talking about and whatever was presenting so wanted to share it with you I hope you enjoy it it's going to be all about creating the container that we're going to play in right we're building the playground and building trust right I mean I haven't even met a few of you in person yeah you know so like there's something to be said about actually spending some time like hey so great that we're building a weekend together but who the heck are youy I'm going to do my my awesome uh drawings here's a person here's another person aren't you an artist I'm ...
... a graphic designer artist so so Friday so Friday this is what we're working on just the container right the container for us to be able to relate with one another round of applause for myw okay I'll try better next time um do better there is no try is that Yoda or do Saturday is going to be all about like noticing our what I'm going to call a shame shield for for some of us maybe the The Shield is thicker than others it's like you know it's a protective barrier like when something new happens when something changes there's a natural instinct for us to protect right again we're not shaming the shame Shield there's nothing wrong with this again it's building the awareness that there is even such a thing when you when you are in shame it naturally disconnects it has you believe that you're not enough it has you believe that if someone knew ...
... this thing about about me this goes you know across all shame not just her's shame if someone knew this thing about me then they I'm not no one's going to love me but the the the sneaky thing about this sham shield and this is Saturday is that it makes this a little bit more difficult it might be happening but it might be happening just ever so slightly another thing about this is that um of course it protects us maybe from all of the stuff that might be coming into like like you know maybe the the stigma or you know the possibility that no one's going to really love me like what if that is actually true like what if I'm never going to find someone to love me well I got to protect myself from that information that might be coming in right but also what gets blocked can be other people's love it can be maybe the truth that you are lovable that that wow there's hope right there's not just hope there's opportunity thank you so that's that's what Saturday is going to be about it's it's going to be about looking at ...
... thato more closely looking at whatever our shame Shield looks like and getting curious about it and then you can probably imagine what someday is going to be so maybe just by looking at the shame and getting curious about it maybe it's there but maybe it's just a little more faint or maybe it's still there just as just as powerfully but you have more awareness about it and what is awareness like awareness actually gives you options so if you're aware that it even exists then you can you can make the the decision to to change it at it in a different way if we if we take that off in any degree then what happens is yes all all this stuff can come in we can be semi-permeable to life right we can be impacted by life and also what happens is we get to do this like we actually get to shine like there's something really sneaky about shame and that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy if I believe that I'm not lovable then the world somehow like magically becomes this I'm not lovable place and then what happens is we just close ourselves off to ...
... the possibility of being lovable so what happens here is we get to actually be in the world we don't hold ourselves back anymore if we don't have to so that's Sunday intentions this next exercise is going to be around setting intentions for yourself like by the end of this weekend I will have done this or I will feel like this or whatever by the end of this weekend and then other intentions um will be in five years I intend to right really interesting reframe on what that fear is like what that anxiety might be like anytime we're doing something new even like you might have experienced that walking in these doors you know like right something new is coming up like there's this reptilian part of our brain that is like you're gonna die like get out of here what are you doing you insane so um the reframe for me just go ahead and draw this is you and let's say that this right here is your for second that something goes outside of here something that that is new to us it could show up as anxiety it could show up as as ...
... fear but did you know that in brain scan they induced fear in them and they induced excitement in them and the same exact part of their brain lit up fear and excitement being exactly the same thing it's like just proof to me that we create a whole we can create a whole lot more meaning out of what what fear is it's like when we look at it in a certain way when we look at it with the perspective of oh my gosh I'm going to die it's a very different feeling it seems like it's a very different feeling than excitement it's like how can those two things be the same thing in our brain well they are so what does that show us it shows us that if the brain is seeing it the same way then it must be our perspective on these things that is showing up differently in our experience all of these things maybe that we're like we're comfortable with are showing up as excitement because they're in our comfort zone but this is showing up as fear but what happens when we actually go through that you know that Reptilian Brain of ours and is like yeah I get that you're telling me that I'm going to die but I'm going to do this anyway like I'm I'm going to be courageous and just do it knowing that I'm not ...
... going to die the second like every time that we kind of go for that feel the fear and do it anyway then in my experience it seemed like this whenever we do that thing then that becomes our new comfort zone so say that that thing is you know like okay vulnerability time my my thing was always like it was really scary for me to approach a woman that I was attracted to like oh my gosh like it's totally outside of my comfort zone like I'm just is not going to do that there's no way in how I'm going to die right if I walk up there and she rejects me or like if someone else sees me doing that and I get rejected oh my God my world's going to end and then the first time that I did it and was like oh my God I hello was awkward it was whatever but then the more times that that happened and my brain's like oh okay cool uh you're not going to die I'm still not perfectly comfortable with it but I'm more comfortable than I once was so it's like that became that becomes available to me that much more the more that I do it and the more that I prove to my subconscious mind that I'm not going to die and that just keeps going and going and and the more ...
... that we keep building our comfort zone and you know since we're here maybe we'll try something out here and it keeps getting bigger all of this room in here that's that's us like that's how we live right if we're living in this contained space then only a certain amount of life is available to us really but if we're like pushing our edges this is what the whole phrase of pushing our edges is it's like this used to be our Edge oh push it push it oh this is our Edge now the more we can push our Edge to a safe and healthy degree the more we can live so
We've come a long way since then. And yes, my drawing skills are still not too hot, but the messages presented on this video set the stage for the magical weekend we all had together.
This video gives you a taste test for the container that we create together on these weekends. It's one of trust and safety, which allows all of us to be vulnerable and real together. And that is the only way that true, deep healing can happen.
I didn’t record any of the participants for obvious reasons, but these clips of me talking should help give you at least a cursory introduction to what the weekend is all about.
Your next step
Wherever you are on your journey, there's something here for you.
